Fighting the fear…

“Do one thing every day that scares you.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

I took that sage advice today– I spent the morning and afternoon at a writer’s workshop. Although I had attended a similar event last summer and enjoyed myself greatly, I had mentally worked myself up into a great frenzy recently. So much so, I had to have ongoing debates with myself as to why I should take the class and not cancel—this seemed ridiculous to me, considering I had stayed up past midnight waiting for the moment online registration was active weeks ago.

I believe my angst was stemming from the workshop’s description: a writing workout to “tap into memories for inspiration.” That last bit subconsciously echoed in my thoughts all week, causing my heart to race and my belly to flutter. The fear of what disclosure would be required petrified me. I’m an introvert, peacefully quiet and shy. Reticent I am to reveal my own deep thoughts. How could I possibly open up in such an intimate way with a room full of strangers?

Thankfully, through affirmations of positive thoughts and fear- pulverizing quotes, I pushed through the week of dubious thoughts. I’m happy to report I even arrived for the workshop on time, with a full one minute to spare (Ha-ha). And, as is often the case, reality never measures up to disserving expectations.

I loved the writing workout! The teacher was excellent. The prompts were varied and didn’t necessarily need to originate from one’s own memory. Surprisingly though, I did tap into my own consciousness for several of the pieces. Best of all, there was no forced sharing or reading required. Perhaps, this is why I felt comfortable to read aloud a solid piece of flash fiction. When it was all said and done, I’d spent three of the four hours writing: my hand ached and my mind was numb as I drove home, but I was content. I had conquered the day.

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